For a while I have been thinking what to write and I had some unposted articles but when I read this today I think it deserves to be posted. It is something many people forget while loving - Love convention. It is not by me but by Paul Coleho.
Convention of those wounded in love Published on December 13, 2009 in News. 2 Comments
promulgated by Paulo Coelho in 2008 and dedicated today to Elin Woods
A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;
B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battle field, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;
It is hereby decreed that:
Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.
Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”. Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.
Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.
Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one’s decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.
Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day.
Final determination: Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice. And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”. Because they haven’t.
My Comments: 1. a person should be aware that they can inflict damage to another person as well and be a careful responsible loving person. Cause pain only if absolutely necessary, like when they are lying to you or are cheating to you, that pain should be kept to absolute minimum [and it is well documented in Prison experiment by P. Zimbardo that people are born sadists]. Control your sadism as it is really painful.
2. I actually don't think we should use strong words towards them and we should not insult them in front of our friends. We might criticize them but not insult. There is a difference.
3. I don't think we can sometimes chose who we love, I think we can meet a friend and we fall in love accidentally. In fact there is one song by Dj. Tiesto which words are like this: "How was I supposed to know that our love will grow."
4. The way they perceive love might be different for us than for them, leading to conflicts and disappointments, therefore one should seek the definition of love and whether it is equal to being in relationship if both people are single or not. Having said that, firing arrow in the opossite direction is not enough, it is because concious mind of a human being is able to override emotions with rational thinking and give up on a feeling for certain reasons known to them.
5. The fact that love and war is being compared is somewhat sad and for me really depressing and in my opinion love is NOT a war and should not be thought of like this as this means that people will exploit weaknesses of partner even more.
6. To know what weapons you have, what things cause pain and suffering and 'works' does not mean one should use them, it is opposite it means one should NOT use those weapons. In the same way that America and Russia have nukes and they don't fire at each other. Responsible love is when people have guns but they don't shoot at each other.
7. I must completely agree that feelings of love are sometimes so strong that by default it does lead to some sort of a war/conflict but understanding that it is by default lets two people to be ABOVE, control their actions (not emotions) and therefore focus on higher MEANING.
More things could be easily written, complex topic but let's finish at that.