Saturday, 23 January 2010
Human relations and metadata
One of the primary reason that people misinterpret intentions of messages that people send to each other when they talk is lack of metadata. In computer programming metadata is data about data, usually that describes that original data. When we are scolded or told off especially we don't know what is the intention of that message is, does a person want to just tell us what they are telling us or there is a hidden meaning behind it, to put us down, to control us emotionally, etc, something bad in general. The way to combat this is to trust a human being and know that their intentions are good. It turns out that the trust is really difficult and most people have and should have problems with trust. Trust is something that one should develop over time despite that sometimes you might initially just trust someone without knowing why. You might not be aware but your subconsciousness can trust without your awareness. Unfortunately, even though you might be trained in psychology to spot someone untrustworthy, remember that their moral code might be different than yours, therefore it is not like they lie to you, they just have different opinions about something. Find out what their opinions are. There are three ways to lie without actually lying, one is when one does not know what one wants, another one is to have different opinion about something and third one is when one is crazy :). A drastic example is for instance, when someone cheats on you but they think that polygamous relationships are fine. They are not lying, are they, they have just different perspective and opinion to the one that you have, assuming you believe in monogamous relationships.
Last but not least, at some point in our lives we misinterpreted someone's intention and someone has misinterpreted our intention. A lot boils down to an emotional inteligence but also other factors are important, such as the fact that you may have different backgrounds with the person you talk, different bringing up, and yet different soul. Soul is the least tangible but it turns out that often people that are unable to communicate well are the people who somehow are very different "internally", they don't get on very well because their souls do not match. It is not very rational and hard to explain to talk about soul incompatibility so I am not surprised if you cannot comprehend it, I hardly can, if I can. It is more of my gut feeling than something that can be empirically verified.