Love convention by Paul Coleho

For a while I have been thinking what to write and I had some unposted articles but when I read this today I think it deserves to be posted. It is something many people forget while loving - Love convention. It is not by me but by Paul Coleho.

Convention of those wounded in love
Published on December 13, 2009 in News. 2 Comments

promulgated by Paulo Coelho in 2008 and dedicated today to Elin Woods

General provisions:

A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;

B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battle field, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;

It is hereby decreed that:

Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.

Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”. Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.

Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.

Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one’s decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.

Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day.

Final determination:
Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.
And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”. Because they haven’t.

My Comments:
1. a person should be aware that they can inflict damage to another person as well and be a careful responsible loving person. Cause pain only if absolutely necessary, like when they are lying to you or are cheating to you, that pain should be kept to absolute minimum [and it is well documented in Prison experiment by P. Zimbardo that people are born sadists]. Control your sadism as it is really painful.

2. I actually don't think we should use strong words towards them and we should not insult them in front of our friends. We might criticize them but not insult. There is a difference.

3. I don't think we can sometimes chose who we love, I think we can meet a friend and we fall in love accidentally. In fact there is one song by Dj. Tiesto which words are like this: "How was I supposed to know that our love will grow."

Dj Tiesto - Touch Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doPMhtF4_bY

4. The way they perceive love might be different for us than for them, leading to conflicts and disappointments, therefore one should seek the definition of love and whether it is equal to being in relationship if both people are single or not. Having said that, firing arrow in the opossite direction is not enough, it is because concious mind of a human being is able to override emotions with rational thinking and give up on a feeling for certain reasons known to them.

5. The fact that love and war is being compared is somewhat sad and for me really depressing and in my opinion love is NOT a war and should not be thought of like this as this means that people will exploit weaknesses of partner even more.

6. To know what weapons you have, what things cause pain and suffering and 'works' does not mean one should use them, it is opposite it means one should NOT use those weapons. In the same way that America and Russia have nukes and they don't fire at each other. Responsible love is when people have guns but they don't shoot at each other.

7. I must completely agree that feelings of love are sometimes so strong that by default it does lead to some sort of a war/conflict but understanding that it is by default lets two people to be ABOVE, control their actions (not emotions) and therefore focus on higher MEANING.

More things could be easily written, complex topic but let's finish at that.

This is my Mum's Week and THE CONNECTION week.

If anyone wondered what was she like...

This YouTube video summarizes it...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-1NjaLpITw

This week is THE CONNECTION week for everyone else except for me, connection with your Soul Mates, catch up with your friends. Who knows what they are up to... are they still alive?

She was THE SUN for me...



and the HOLY SPIRIT....



and one can connect to... the DEPARTED but it is hard and I don't even know if I can do it. I doubt it.

All cats have a tendency to lie....

All cats [YELLOW] have a tendency to lie because for them often TRUE = FALSE or so they want you to think so... The problem that a cat has is that cat is unable to lie to it's own heart. Meet cat - the perfect liar :)

Excellent post by our Swedish Lead Software Engineer about Cost of Features.

http://tech.shopzilla.com/2009/11/the-cost-of-a-feature

Reflections on vegetarianism

There is plethora of causes why one could become a vegetarian. For me, one of biggest driving forces was a number of ethical reasons. I have been vegetarian for over 6 years now and during that time I have been thinking about this topic quite extensively and I came across many comments from my friends. I wanted to share some of them and why I think that some of them are great and definitely worth pondering on and analyzing.

Needless to say, ethical vegetarians are not eating meat because of ethical reasons. They simply don't want animals to get slaughtered and some of them genuinely believe that animals should be treated the way humans are or at least close to it. Even ethical vegetarians do divide in their beliefs. Some simply want animals to live in decent conditions and want them to die without suffering, some of them don't want them to be slaughtered at all. In my humble opinion, by far the most ethical ones are fructarians, then vegans and eventually laco-ovo vegetarians. Fructarians only eat things that fall from a tree or a bush, they don't eat animals products of any kind. Vegans do not eat any animal products i.e. dairy products or eggs.

The reason I became a vegetarian is because I strongly believe that I am not in position to take animals live just for pleasure of it. I wanted to see if I am able to live and nourish myself without animal protein and I have succeeded up to a certain point. It is necessary to remember to replace protein that we normally obtain from meat with protein from plants. Protein is an important ingredient and currently human organism is unable to create it on its own. I say currently, because through the course of evolution in the long term, I reckon it would be possible even to change that. As a matter of fact, there are animals that do produce protein on their own. It is a matter of genes in DNA sequence. Assuming that a vegetarian diet is generally low in protein, mind you that in the long term it can be fixed through the course of evolution or by DNA programming (genomics).

I have experienced lots of problems with vegetarianism. It is like you open a pandora's box. One mental shift leads you to many other thoughts. Should I kill insects? Should I not wash myself like Buddist monks, that way saving bacteria from dying. In a sense it is impossible to survive without killing an organism of some sort. Viruses, bacteria are all organisms. Life and death seems to be deeply rooted in the way the world is structured. So, we are all killing all the time, we have to kill to be able to live, if we don't kill bacteria in our organism then that bacteria will win the struggle and eventually we might even die due to a sickness caused by their frivolous playing tricks habbits. So we established that killing is inevitable, then this raises a question how do we divide organisms into the ones that we think we can kill and the ones that we think we can't. Should we base this on size or on their intelligence? Is it ethically more justifiable to kill a mosquito, than it is to kill a dolphin. Undeniably, dolphins are smarter than mosquitos. That is one possibility but as Peter Singer [a bioethician] says applying this rule is like applying the same principle to human beings. If a certain person is retarded that might actually mean that they will be less intelligent than the smartest monkey. Should this justify that we can kill them and eat them or perhaps enslave them?

You see nature has no mercy, a lion chases its prey to have a dinner. Lion does not understand that he/she could spare the pray. Lion does not have conscious mind. You do, so think about using it. Most people I met in my life don't really care about this at all. Ignorance is truly a bliss and people know it very well. I know it as well because I also need to switch off, if I was thinking all the time I would go mad. Anyone would.

One of my discoveries is that providing enough of vitamins and fatty acids is really heard on one's own without understandning more about nutrition. I used to have omega-3 deficiency that resulted in certain unpleasant things, let me put it this way. So, now I don't forget about omega-3 and A-Z vitamins for vegetarians and I am guilty of sometimes consuming sea water fish for animal protein. So as you can see I am not an angel.

Why it is indeed an interesting topic, because you see in the past, women couldn't vote and black were slaves. Why did we change that? We have altered this through evolution.

I often hear a comment that people love meat and they would never give it up for the taste of it. That is for me worst possible argument one can come up with, because it is like saying I like black slaves and I think to have a slave at home is really good and I would never give up a slave.

Many people do bring up the criteria of conciousness, in a sense that animals do not fear death and it turns out that some animals do fear death actually. There was a monkey that through sign language said that she/he was afraid of to die. Being afraid of death can be classified as a solid criteria of conscioussness.

Another very prepostrous thing is that people actually buy clothes made from furr. For instance, seals are slaughtered just for furr. This is the sickest really because honestly, it is not that hard to buy products that are artificial and at the same time you can use them, so leave poor animals alone.

Testing drugs on animals is also a tricky topic I must admit. If we do believe in inteligence based hierarchy that means that sacrifice of mice should allow humans to live longer. I do believe in layers and humans are indeed smarter [some humans unfortunately have inteligence of monkey :( or worse] but in general they are just more clever. So I personally support testing drugs on mice as long as it cannot be tested in any other way and is necessary to find a cure for a serious or not so serious sickness. That is just my opinion.

Perhaps one of the most interesting comments I have ever heard from one person is that it might perhaps be better to let them live and kill them so at least they can enjoy life a little bit. I must admit that this statement has really caused me to scratch my head. It is a very strong argument, the only problem is that you are the one that kills, so an animal has no choice but to be slaughtered. We are all gonna die anyway. This brings up an interesting topic and extremely controversial as well, whether in future we might need to have obligatory euthanasia for retired people as they keep living longer and longer. So you are 80 and you go to some clinic... Gosh.... I am scared but that only shows how difficult ethical problems are to solve and that right or wrong as a concept is changing over time.

Evolutionary psychology - cheaters and liars win :(

Evolutionary psychology - cheaters and liars win.

Having thought about this for long time and having understood the book - why men like bitches I reached conclusion that evolution does indeed favor bitches (the women and men who are lying and cheating and put themselves first) and in general colors/personality types that have a higher probability of cheating and lying (YELLOW and RED types) then thank God that psychological colours (types) are not inherited. That would mean that world would be eventually worse and worse. In the same way that people that steal are likely to be richer if there was no punishment, in love people who cheat are more likely to have more children and partners that will also love them back. So, imagine that in human mating, there is no court. The ones that LIE and CHEAT the most win the evolutionary game. The only court is you and your parents and family. You are the worse court actually, because you will actually prefer the ones that despise you and treat you like shit the most. Listening to your parents won't help either because by doing so, you will not follow your heart. So you will be unhappy. Bottom line is that following heart is as bad as listening to your parents, which means that that perhaps true happiness can only be in you and not in the one so to speak that completes you, which leads us to Buddhism.... but then poor Buddhists don't have pleasure of talking to the one that completes them, massages and all the nice things... Final punchline is that it is all messed up anyway. We are all messed up. Unless you think about the theory of...

About Cats and Mice and love...

So what does cats and mice to do with love? Well they do quite a lot. The thing is that, cats are quite malicious, he/she will play with the mouse before killing her. Why is that? We were told that animals are cute and they kill only to eat and they don't take pleasure in doing so. Bollocks. They do. The only reasons some animals do not behave like humans is because they are not smart enough. To be vengeful you have to be smart enough. Shocking, ha. Well. Now let's imagine a human being is a cat and another human being is a mouse. Humans do kill each other and cause each other pain. There is nothing revolutionary about that. When do humans stop being nasty? This is when they love... Love is very merciful. So if you are a mouse and you get caught by a cat that does not love you --- run fast. If he/she does love you, well... then... you start to trust... but be careful love is not eternal. How do you know if a cat loves you? Well, see if he/she suffers when you suffer.

On extarverted women and how they test guy's patience and his wussiness level

Extraverted women. I mean how sick do I have to be to write this. First of all, what is the heck is an extraverted woman? Well, extavertism is not something mathematically defined, so it is hard to measure. It is not impossible though and there are psychological tests that measure it. I see it as energy to live. Do you take energy to live from people or from yourself. If you take from people, then you are extraverted, if you take it from yourself then you are introverted.

Today, on a bus I heard a conversation that a girl was beaten and she had to split with his boyfriend and she only did this because of her mother. There are guys that will play on emotions. I have been in this vicious circle once when I was in love as well. You tend to love in a sick way, the one that hurts you somehow. How many times did I hear this story about being beaten? Why girls choose sick guys like that? It is not a recent phenomen, it is a repeatable thing. Every generation seems to be making the same mistake over and over again. Now, why is it happenening? Then I started to think and don't get me started when I start to think... Recently I heard from one extraverted girl as well, that she likes guys that stop her from being too naughty and stops her from getting away with stuff. It is almost like some extraverted women (20-30) still have a little girl inside them. Notice that I say extraverted because introverted women do not behave in that way. That little girl inside an extraverted woman wants to be spanked and told off when she does bad things. It is not a surprise that some sickos loose temper so much that they start hitting her. This is how this works. Then she feels bad but because she is in love, through her emotions she will be unable to leave him (it would hurt too much). Needless to say there are some proper mechanisms to provide feedback but the strange thing is that they like to try guy's patience. If there is a guy, that could be referred to as wussy allows a girl to do what she wants, she will ignore him and eventually dump him. This is because a woman needs a confident guy, not some guy that will cry like a baby. She checks that confidence by testing him out. It makes perfect sence from evolutionary point of view. Who wants to be with a looser? They need protection. The problem is that it often makes a relationship akward and there is a constant struggle. Especially when an extraverted guy meets an extraverted woman... Extraverts tend to loose temper much quicker than introverts. This is actually quite depressing and I wish this didn't exist as a concept and I hope to be proven wrong. The whole view might be scewed, so forgive me this biased point of view. As with all things in human sciences certain people will agree certain one's won't. Psychology is a complex topic.

You are the system

You are the system, the society in which you are brought up in. There are things you don't have to comply to survive but there are some in which you have to comply or you will suffer or die.

How can you change the system? Who can change the system? That is what revolutions are for. Does it have to be through revolution? No, it can be through evolution. Who changes the system? People like Hitler but also people like you on a smaller scale. How do we know that the system is right? We don't, we see it after some time and we adjust. So that is why I am a vegetarian. I don't like the system and I adjust. It is a form of a personal rebellion. I eat fish though... why? Evolution as opposed to revolution is time consuming but the good thing is that it is is more stable... You can only evolve if you think and work on your self and if you are not selfish. Do you have to work? No, of course you don't. You have to have strength and health and $ to survive but you don't have to think. Well, at least this is our current system... here in the UK.

Johari Window

I have been intriqued by a concept of johari window.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johari_window

In a nutshell, Johari Window consists of Arena and Facade, which is something that is known to us, and Blind Spot and Unknown which is not know to us. Arena is something that we and people around are aware of. It can be anything, we can be smart, humble, etc.

[... to be continued...]

Free Will

I am happy to have free will, I don't know what future holds so that gives me piece of mind. I am also happy that other people in life have free will. Mostly we have control over our destiny, except for cases where we don't (nature of randomness).

Life is like a Rorschach's Test

So I came to realisation that life is like a Rochard's test. We see things we want to see. Different people see different things. We even see different things at different stages of our life.

Tim Burton's Stick Boy and Match Girl

Stick Boy liked Match Girl,
He liked her a lot.
He liked her cute figure,
he thought she was hot.



But could a flame ever burn
for a match and a stick?
It did quite literally;
he burned up quick.

Health

Health

When you don't have it, all you dream of it is to have it. Mine is improving from day to day, it is like I broke a leg, I can walk but I cannot run yet, well maybe a slow run :)

Evolution and the Bible

Even before watching an excellent program on BBC Two titled: Did Darwin kill God I did think about exactly the same thing. In fact I could create this program :)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00jhfwt

I believe that the biblical God does not have to compete with the theory of evolution. In fact in this war both camps are right. That is why wars and disagreements are futile. At the end of the day you both agree in large part. It is communication that is the problem. Pure evolution lacks moral standards, law, Bible provides moral standards. We need that to know what is good or bad. As with slavery some things that were once approved can change and become illegal and morally wrong. Slaves did fight for themselves. Humans are not cows, we change and evolve all the time. It is a good thing. One has to be reflective to ponder over things like that. Yet, over-relection is bad as well. That is why I am a Software Engineer :) I would think too much if I was a philosopher! In adition, philosophy doesn't produce anything other than ideas. In Software Engineering, target product is very tangible. What an excellent career decision! Good on me!

I especially like Philo and St. Augustine views that the Bible has to be read in a methaphorical way. Many things in a methaphorical way can be applied many years after the Bible has been written. It is also interesting to know that the Bible has contradictions. In the program they gave an example Adam that was conceived before or after plants were created. If many people wrote it, it is not a surprise they couldn't sync up the same version. Yet, maybe the God had no other way to communicate with us other than through other people.

Gods, Eclipse, linking, playing games, (reality or virtual reality) and morality

As my health restores through blue, green, tiny bit of red and yellow I naturally start to think about work. You see IBM and SUN compete with each other. It is natural, businesses have to compete to survive. That is how economy works and I don't have to explain that. Some time ago, IBM started to develop project called eclipse (http://www.eclipse.org), which is a development environment (IDE) that I use on a daily basis. I am a java developer so it is very natural to use eclipse. Now java has been invented by SUN Microsystems but remember IBM competes with them... I hate competition, I mean a little bit of it is nice but I do not like it. In fact, because I play ping pong (which happens to be the best training for your brain - I.Q. wise) at work with my colleagues I am starting to think to bring back some of the old rituals such as hand shaking before a match. I think bowing might be a little bit too much but hand shaking, why not? I think we get a little bit too competitive at work and that really doesn't please me. Competition is stressful and unpleasant and I resent! Alas, I feel during ping-pong we do compete too much.

I have a friend in Poland, that by the way taught me a lot of philosophy and science (morisil - Kazimierz Pogoda), you see he wrote a very long article about Eclipse. As Tim Berners-Lee says in one of his last speeches at TedTalks.com linking is very important these days. It is linking between ideas but also information on world-wide-web. If you like the idea, please listen to:

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/tim_berners_lee_on_the_next_web

Morisil, my friend, won an award from eclipse for one of the best articles on eclipse Ganymede! So this is really cool, if people at IBM find it useful. You can read more about eclipse (with nice references to philosophy) on

http://blog.xemantic.com/2008/06/eclipse-ganymede-rejoicing-in-virility.html

You see the reason I like this article so much is because it is a nice link between philosophy and science. The fact that one can cooperate with another rather than compete with another. This is exactly what was a cornerstone of a very famous novel - Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. Science can cooperate with God, rather than fight with each other. This is exactly what my plan is, to link science and the God. Mind you, the God sometimes fools us through devil, therefore we should always test our hunches. Test them to see if they are meaningful and most importantly real.

Testing your hunches is a topic that a talk by Dan Ariely - why we think it is ok to cheat and steal (sometimes):

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/dan_ariely_on_our_buggy_moral_code.html

Morisil's article It is an excellent article and only tells me how much I have to learn about philosophy moving forward and how tiny is my ego now, when I am overwhelmed with knowledge. I did not study philosophy so that this didn't help. I am more of an amateur and philosophizer wanna-be. I mean at least I don't know the history of philosophy, which is not equal to the fact that I don't like to reflect from time to time. Reflections in philosophy can cause redirect loop, so you start restarting yourself. It reminds me of universe. Did you know that apparently when we travel ahead through space eventually we will end up from where we came from? I believe that but I cannot prove it. How can one test that?

Well you see, we had a talk with morisil once about what they think should be the future of capitalism. Morisil together with her wife (Pacyfka) think that Scandinavian countries are the future together with their way of thinking. New Wave of thinking. It is human and love that are more important rather than capital. In the US, there is bling-bling in Scandinavian countries there is human-bing or human-being (almost the same). US might eventually catch up. Time will tell. UK is a nice balance now.

Cod, Insomnia, linking and Hurley Model

Can you imagine falling in love in an idea? Well, we do it all the time, mothers want babies, fathers want babies ... a little bit less (blame credit crunch). We all want something. We fall in love in an idea of something or someone. Yet, this is our perception and perception can be deceived. An idea always needs to be tested in reality. As some of you might know I am an amateur philosopher and a scientist (Software Engineer). You see, when you fall in love in an idea of a person it is like your fall in love in yourself. That person is a reflection of who you want to be. This is narcissism. We see things we don't have and we yearn for them. For me cod is yellow (and probably only for me), water is blue. For me yellow is creativity. I yearn to creativity (although other colours are soo uber cool as well). A Cod is in a water, right. Cod years to water, yet does water yearn to the cod? Water is there, it is calm. Yet, would water make any sense on this planet if it wasn't for animals that are in it? It would be useless. It's existence would be meaningless. I would like my existence to be as meaningful as possible. Yet, cods are often moving too fast. If they swim all day, work all the time, this can cause cod's insomnia. Cods are creative and have lots of ideas but...they are also very fast. Insomnia is very serious and in case of humans can lead to many messy things. Well, you might think why am I talking about insomnia suddenly? Well, you see somebody I know stays almost all night and works, now this can be truly exhausting and can cause serious issues. So this is the reason water is good for cod, it can cool cod down and most importantly tell cod to slow down.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKk3unesG6Y&feature=PlayList&p=1DE621941F765EAD&index=13

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insomnia


In addition, please listen to an excellent Philosopher Dan Dennet about notions and ideas and linking things together (like poets and philosophers do), it is absolutely hilarious and only proves that not all philosophers are boring and their brain is malfunctioning. They are just soo uber clever!

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/dan_dennett_cute_sexy_sweet_funny.html

God, a cow and moral fiber

First of all, my definition of God -> anything that has not been scientifically explained, awaits scientific explanation but you see it happening in your life without understanding why. Pretty much like when you fall in love in someone and you cannot possibly imagine why this particular person.

What a cow and moral fiber have in common?

You see moral fiber means that you are able to keep your ideas even in difficult times. What if this is too difficult? Well, it is evolution isn't, leo, you, sedating gun and a real gun with real bullets. As I mentioned in one of my posts before I prefer MacGyver style (sedate if you can), in fact this is exactly why I became a vegetarian. If I don't have to kill (eating meat is supporting meat industry, demand drives supply) then I prefer to spare poor animals. This gets really deeply philosophical and not for this post, because some people argue that it is better to be born (and live) and be killed rather than not. I agree with that and don't but that will be in future. I will have a very long post soon on vegetarianism so I will cover that. Vegetarianism is green and green is a colour of healing. I need healing now. Nurse or rather nursing is all I want now. Nurses are your best friends when you are sick, well assuming they listened to Dan Ariel speech - why we think it is ok to cheat and steal on TedTalks.com.

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/dan_ariely_on_our_buggy_moral_code.html

If they didn't they should listen. Suffering should always be kept to minimal. That is the cornerstone of my thinking. Unless a nurse doesn't want to be your friend, then go to hell. Friends can be nurses and yet true friends don't even want money for nursing. Is it possible to have a true friend these days (true friend - a friend in sickness and in health) ?

You see there are two very nice sayings about a cow in Polish.

Polish: Krowa, która dużo ryczy mało mleka daje.
English: A cow that mooooos a lot doesn't give you milk.
Swedish: ? (I wish I knew that language)

and..

Polish: Tylko krowa nie zmienia pogladów
English: Only a cow doesn't change opinions.
Swedish: ? (I wish I knew that language)

Who said I wasn't creative right? By very simple reconstruction and logical thinking we have:

Polish: "Krowa która nie zmienia pogladów, mało mleka daje"
English: A cow that doesn't change opinions will not give you milk.
Swedish: ? (I wish I knew that language)

This is a good test for you. If you have a friend or a boyfriend, girlfriend, check if they can change their opinion over time. If they do adjust to environmental factors, if they are reflective (but not over reflective) and at the same time their moral fiber changes only a little bit -> this is a good sign. Always analyze why they have altered their moral fiber, what was the root cause of that, this is essential. Did they do it because of selfish reasons, did they do it because of health reasons and if so why, did they alter their moral fiber for someone else and if so why?

Well I am not a cow, I do change over time, how can I change over time and still live with my moral fiber? Well moral fiber needs to adjust based on events. Unfortunately, in evolutionary sense I am more important than cods. Definitely not more important than the God but cods, definitely. I will spare cows, chickens, pigs and other cute animals (I love dogs, cats, dolphins - so clever) but I will be a bit cruel to cods. While cods ways are mysterious to me, to the God they are not mysterious at all. I am sorry for that! He is just a bit more clever than all of us.

I have seen Girl Next Door today, once again and I like what a Matthew said in that movie. He is happy to love a porn star as long as her name is Danielle. I wouldn't mind loving a porn star, well not just any porn star. In fact, that is exactly what Leaving Las Vegas movie was about. This is what moral fiber to me and Matthew from Girl Next Door. (Mateusz = Matthew). Love is the moral fiber. Isn't to all of us?

* Note for non Polish readers - Łaciate is a Polish milk.

God, Midsummer Festival, Pantheism and a kinky loo brush

You might think that I have been obsessed with God recently. I can assure you that I am not a devout. In fact I have not been more obsessed with God more than with a yellow flower on a meadow near the place I where live.



You see Swedish people believe in Midsummer Festival. You can find more about this here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midsummer. What they do is that their pray to the outer force. They pray for fertility of soil. This is a symbolic pray.



Symbolic as no one is sure about the future, suddenly some disaster can cause famine and people will die, children will die, father and mothers, sons and daughters, boyfriends and girlfriends, everyone. I am more spiritual than Christian. In fact I am a bit of both. I find there are interesting things in various religions. I even like meditation from Buddha and Buddhism as it let's me control myself better.



Someone told me that her flatmate bough her a loo brush that looks like a sperm... Now this is very funny and why didn't I pee in my pants from laugh? This is creepy at the same time. You see this is symbolic, loo brush in a form of a sperm might be considered by some people to be THE GOD. I don't think that is clever to pray to a loo brush but then again what if I pray to a flower? Well at least flower doesn't smell! Loo brush will be covered with well you know what. No thanks for that!

I amaze myself. I have been experiencing boosts of creativity (yellow) recently. I am starting to play with the language. Can one be creative in the way we use language? Hell yes!

Quote from wikipedia:
"Others argue that some form of Midsummer pole occurred in Sweden during the pre-Christian times, and was a phallic fertility symbol, meant to impregnate the earth, but as there were no records from those times it cannot be proven, and this idea might just be a modern interpretation of the poles form."

Poles or poles whatever. Well ask a Pole to pray to a phallus and he/she will think you are totally mad. I don't think so and as a Pole I must probably strike you as a total nutter. Well if my grandfather (R.I.P) or grandmother (R.I.P) found this out, they would immediately call an ambulance and similarly to Ivan Homeless from Master and Margrita (Russian novel) I would end up in a nuthouse (hopefully PATCH ADAMS would rescue me!). If you want to get to know me a little better - watch Patch Adams. In fact Patch Adams used to laugh at shrinks because sometimes they don't listen to their patients and are more messed up than patients themselves. Most importantly some shrinks don't laugh! You see laugh is a perfect cure, I am laughing a lot recently and recovering well. Laugh is yellow, yellow together with a calm green cures.





I have heard that a few Poles emigrated to Sweden, they need there doctors for sure. Poland has lots of very skilled doctors. I have friends who are doctors. Clever stuff. Did you know that Sweden, Great Britain and Ireland were the first countries to open up borders for Poles in 2004 when Poland joined E.U. along with other Eastern European countries. I am in I.T., for now there is demand for I.T. in London.



Speaking of phallus...Well, honestly I don't find my penis to be the GOD of anything. It is there, helps sometimes to pee and during ...well you know what....but would I consider it THE GOD? Well, NO. Swedish people do pray to Phallus. I don't find it creepy, I would not pray to a loo brush but then again I don't mind praying to a yellow flower! Well this is a form of Pantheism.



Sometimes I strike myself as a Pantheist. As a Pantheist I cherish nature. Green strikes me as a calm colour, colour that doesn't lie or doesn't deceive you, does not want to play games. Colour that simply is. It is the simplicity of green that I like so much.

Yellow and Green

Green is a colour of help and support. A typical nurse would be green because she/he (let's not be sexists) would work to support patients. That doesn't mean that green is confined only to hospitals. It is important to notice that typical green people gain energy in their life by helping other people. In general I found that I get on with green people a lot. I create a bond with them immediately. My best friends are in fact often green. What does it have to do with yellow? Well through yellow you get to green... Green restores you and heals you.

God and Yellow and Blue, Chocolate Bar and Swedish Flag!

What all of these items have in common? Pillow is used to rest when you cannot sleep. God is there to help you understand yourself, heal you and show you mercy. Answer to quiz: Because He wanted to start with something SIMPLE. Men are so simple. How simple am I? Recently I am finding myself more complex than I have ever imagined. Then you see a chocolate bar, it is proven to boost your mood. You see Yellow and Blue. I am Blue but Yellow restores me through creativity and laugh. Lots of laugh lately. Notice that you can also see a yellow flower on a pillow and blue as well. You see this is symbolic. The meaning is differential. Yellow is an opposite to blue and vice versa.

Cod's mysterious ways and Kalles Kaviar

On Kalles Kaviar, Cods it's mysterious ways, blue and yellow and many other things.

Have you seen the movie with Rowan Atkinson? Keeping Mum. He makes a mistake during a speech and says. Cods mysterious way! What he in fact is referring to are God's mysterious ways! Now this is really freaking me out.


Because I am a little bit sick and that might involve lack of OMEGA-3 compounds (heart or what?) I would like to try Kalles Kaviar. It is Swedish and as you know Sweds have lots of fish around them. It is not coincidental that suddenly out of nowhere I started to eat fish and became obsessed with Sweden! It is all about fish! Eating fish will restore my health, it already has. In future I want to check flaxseed oil, a vegetarian equivalent of OMEGA-3 but at this stage I don't want that. There is a jungle, there is leo and you, what do you do? I am a leo but I would take a Mac Gyver approach and try to sedate him but if he jumps to my throat? Well, I have to safe myself. Evolutionary rule number one: survival of your child (if you have one) and then you and your partner and then your family (parents, next of kin) is the most important. Career is important but never more than your health. How can you help your family if you are sick? Save yourself to save others.

I especially like that it is blue and yellow. While I tend to think I am multicolored. What an obsession with colours! My first name is blue (philosophy and science) and my complete opposite is yellow (creativity and witt). One of my famous quotes from Philosophy is "The meaning is differential not referential". In fact through reference we get to difference. This is how women and men are soo different and yet the same. One from Venus, one from Mars like in John Gray book. Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars. Blue and yellow? You see? It all makes sense.

Mrs Elwood (Legally Blonde) and Danielle (Girl Next Door)

One of my favourite movies of all times is Girl Next Door, this is very similar to Legally Blonde. Here comes this porn star that has a beautiful soul. Other guys only want to .... well.. you know what but she is sooo uber clever and creative. Clever and creative like Swedish girls! Actress is actually Canadian and happens to be a model. Isn't a fallacy to think that all Swedish girls are blondes? I would not mind a brunette at all. As long as she is a clever and a creative brunette. She can be a little bit naughty. In fact Danielle from Girl Next Door is far from being a good girl! She is quite something! You should watch it, this is a nice comedy and I lave laughed quite a bit!

Please watch it! Here is a link for you:
http://www.imdb.com/find?s=all&q=Girl+Next+Door&x=0&y=0

While I have enjoyed Girl Next Door more than Legally Blonde, the message is the same. Don't judge the book by it's cover. Not all that gold shines but sometimes but not always gold does indeed shine!

Swedish Steps - business opportunity

At my work, my manager created a very simple diagram for Swedish Steps. I believe that Swedish Steps deserve to be cherished more than that. Here is a business opportunity for you.

Are you a creative entity? Perhaps a university student? Do you know art? Would you like to earn a little bit of money to pay for your university or towards your monthly expenses? Pay is moderate and is up for negotiations. I would be happy to pay you via PalPal or through a BASC UK bank transfer.

Art has never been more popular, in fact I cannot agree more with Steven Pinker and his lecture on TedTalks.com titled Blank Slate. Art has never been so popular, it is a true Renaissance of art! I like Steven Pinker, he is so funny :)

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/steven_pinker_chalks_it_up_to_the_blank_slate.html

I quite like the art of Tim Burton and Pon and Zi style of drawing. My idea is that in Swedish Steps you would actually see Steps and on every step you would see some sort of person that conveys meaning of each individual step. A drawing and a picture is 1000 words!

Please let me know if you are interested, please send me an email at: mati@sz.home.pl.

Hope to hear from you soon!

Hi in Swedish and Polish

To continue my obsession with Sweden I started to read more about Swedish. You see in Swedish hi is Tjéna. The way to say it: http://www2.hhs.se/isa/swedish/2-2.wav

Informal and friendly. Actually an abbreviation of 17th and 18th century phrases like ‘Jag förbliver Eder ödmjukaste tjänare’ (I remain your most humble servant).

I really like this... I remain your most humble servant, it reminds me of old days, like a knight is a servant of his princess.

In Polish hi is "cześć", which means reverence. When you approach someone and tell them cześć what you in fact are saying is that you greet them but also that you respect them. It immediately creates trust, trust is a cornerstone of every relationship.

Swedish Steps [DRAFT v.3]

Swedish Steps(TM) in life and workplace (DRAFT v.3)

I have been a little bit obsessed with Swedish Steps recently. At my work I have a manager that happens to be a Swed. He recently presented the idea of Swedish Steps. The name has been invented by our Lead Architect - an Aussie! My manager pinned a sheet with Swedish Steps onto our SCRUM meeting wall. Based on feedback about any issue, we can climb Swedish Steps in the following manner:


Step 1. Attack
Description: in military the best defense is to attack
Example: Are you a nutter, this idea is idiotic?

Step 2. Self-defense
Description: they are likely to strike back once you attacked them
Example: This is not my fault. You are a nutter to think that I am wrong.

Step 3. Denial
Description: deny that we need to change it
Example: Why bother, we have a working solution.

Step 4. Analysis
Description: you ponder over a solution
Example: I need a moment of silence to think about this.

Step 5. Understanding
Description: when there is a light bulb over your head after sleeping on with the problem and you jump in a bath and shout out loud EUREKA

Step 6. Act
Description: respond in an emotionless (calm body and voice) and meaningful way
Example: I think you are right but I think there is very small flaw in thinking that might potentially stop us. The flaw is...

Explanation
This is a very simple concept, yet many people don't think about this and don't realise how important it is to successfully interact with people in our work and personal life. The idea is that when we receive feedback from someone, we often think of it in a form of criticism of us, our, so we think, big ego. Ego, by the the way, should eventually be very small....tiny. That is a good thing. We do not think that the criticism is about what we do and naturally we behave in way that we start to attack, self-defend ourselves and deny parts or all of the feedback. We do not think that the idea of a feedback is to analyze and understand and eventually to alter our behaviour to better interact with other work colleagues, friends or life partners. Now one might ask a question, but why should I change myself for someone and for some strange idea of Swedish Steps, which accidentaly is called Swedish Steps and could as well be called Polish Steps, if only my manager was a Pole. Well, the reason is very simple - to improve communication and foster better human interactions that in turn will lead to better results. Now you might think that this can work only in work life. Well, I can assure you it can work very well in real life as well. I have observed this working well in practice, provided we jump to analysis, understanding and acting (last three steps) as quickly as possible.

It is important to notice that the reason it is called steps is not accidental. One has to climb from one step to another to reach the top. Of course one can stop at any level but it is not wise to do it. We should climb to the top. The best results are achieved when you can immediately jump first three steps, so that you end up on last two steps. One of the pretty bad (but not the worse things) you can do is to give a verbal or even worse non-verbal feedback about the problems you have with your own self control during the phase when you are on the first three steps. You can sort out first three steps in your head but it is not wise to do so. This is because sorting out first three steps has an impact on you. You are getting stressed without even knowing about this. It is subconscious. JUMP to avoid stress and save yourself. Don't be fooled to think that if you don't say anything people will not notice, in fact your body language tells people even more than you think. It is said that body language accounts for 60-70% of communication. This is one reason why geographically dislocated teams tend not to work and well as ...online dating... is a really difficult and prone to disasters. People can tell you various things but it is our body language that lets you discover their true meaning. Most of us are not that clever to be able to trick our own body language. I personally wouldn't dare to try, I highly advise to be honest.


Silence is golden
Silence is golden and it is certainly golden when it comes to Swedish Steps. If you like music, listen to the silence when you receive feedback. If you do not know what to do it is best to be quiet and listen. Eventually sleep on with the problem and give a meaningful feedback based on last three steps (analyze, understand and act). Don't rush, take a bullet.

Bond is very important

It is important to notice that it the way that we behave triggers certain responses. The way someone gives us certain feedback can trigger a certain response. If we do it in an appropriate way, then a person will naturally jump first three steps. Appropriate way is to do it very calmly and with quiet voice. If we have a bad day and a person doesn't understand the idea of Swedish Steps, then they might focus on first three steps too much. It is all about compromise, mutual understanding and believe it or now a bond that you have with your colleague, life partner, boyfriend, girlfriend (any relationship). This might be strange but this is the reason Team Building events at your workplace are so important because it is the bond that eventually causes you to jump first three steps if you have a bad day and everything goes pear shaped. On a bad day without a bond, both people can roll down steps and eventually they will end up shattered and with bruises. It hurts. Only masochists like suffering. I am not one!

Step. 1. Attack
Attack can be done in many forms and shapes. Probably the worse thing you can do is to frown, take offense, resent and eventually affront. Stop any communication to the person, eliminate them from your world. The reason is that by stopping communication you cannot calmly discuss the issue. You have just eliminated the person that gave you feedback from your both physical and mental world. You should re-establish relationship as quickly as possible and discuss. Just after than is humiliation, often public humiliation, you can talk to your friends or work colleagues and gossip about the person that gave you feedback. We all do it in one form of another. Due to lack of information people will be coming up with all sorts of strange ideas. It is natural to seek others help but you have to be really clever to judge properly and take action accordingly because you are the one that has more information. You have a bigger jigsaw with more puzzles to connect. People can give you a missing piece to your own jigsaw. Moreover, you can use body language and a very emotional language to attack. You can attack by offending the person that gave you feedback. You can be really rude and say: Are you crazy? This is an idiotic idea. The worst is when you don't even tell them why they are being idiotic and you have no arguments in discussion. By behaving in this matter you are attacking a person rather than discussing the idea. This is prone to a disaster in one form or another. Alternatively, you can attack with meaningful arguments, you can say: You are crazy! We cannot do it because we do not have...(put anything you want). Still not very clever but probably the best form of attack as it is with a meaningful argument. On the other side what you might face is not a meaningful argument but rather a counter-attack. That means other person also needs to read more about Swedish Steps :). The person that receives a feedback should behave like a pillow and provide cushion for emotional responses. It might be harder than you think because while you control your language and emotions, internally you still handle that stressful response. This is why meditation and joga is helpful. Believe me, prolonged stress is not healthy, it causes insomnia and all sorts of other messy things.

Step. 2. Self-defense
In this step we naturally start defending ourselves, we start coming up with all sorts of reasons why the work or action that we did was the way it was. In work life, when it comes to programming, we associate ourselves with THE CODE. We thing it is THE CODE but in fact it is a piece of code. Remember EGO? BIG EGO....small ego.... This is not as dangerous step as the first step - attack. This is because there is probably plethora of meaningful reasons why a piece of code looks as bad at it does. No time, project pressure, it was valid at that time and the person didn't want to overcomplicate. In fact this is a cornerstone of XP (Extreme Programming), do not overcomplicate, provide the sollution that is flexible enough and works to resolve business requirements. In personal life, we also come up with all sorts of self-defensive ideas based on feedback. e.g. someone tells you that you didn't study enough for the exam, so you tell them, that you didn't have enough time. This might be a perfectly valid reason but what if internally you know that you have been skiving too much, you cannot fool yourself. Sometimes, you can only fool others and because it is sometimes only better be honest.

Step 3. Denial
In this step we deny that we need to alter the solution claiming that it is not necessary. We should provide meaningful reasons why we think that this is not a good idea. Eventually a compromise should resolve the problem. We should all believe in compromise. I could not agree more with Amos Oz and what he wrote about compromise.

Step 4. Analysis
You think over the idea, carefully analysing every advantage and disadvantage of the problem. Take your time, sleep on with the problem, tell them that you need to think about this. Usually there is no rush. The best thing you can do if you don't know what to do is to listen to silence and be quiet.

Step 5. Understand
This is a step when you understand what the other person means or at least you are much closer to understanding.

Step 6. Act
Provide meaningful feedback with quiet voice, no strange body language responses and most importantly be clever as eventually as with every aspect of your life wisdom is the most important asset that you have.

[...to be altered for perfection...]

a.) Swedish Steps is a name fully owned by Petter M., Rodney B.

b.) Special thanks to Annie - your Swedish wisdom and creativity amazed me and let me learn more about myself. One day, who knows, Swedish Midsummer festival. I am in!

Teddybear

Old post entry thing (6th August 2006) but fixed english mistakes (remastered):

Teddybear

On the whole world every teddybear dreams of just one thing - being loved. Often teddybears are no longer needed by their owners, they just use them to cuddle them and then they abandon them. I wish every teddybear on the world to actually be truly loved! Teddybears love with a pure love, they don't try to manipulate their owners to gain their love, they just simply are. Teddybears think that pure love is enough that no one should manipulate in order to be loved. Teddybears think that loving is enough to be loved. Owners are often so malicious and cunningly they will say, oh teddybear do you love me and teddybears says, sure of course I love you. But owners want a teddybear to love them only if it makes them happy. They don't think about teddybear feelings. Fox from Little Price said: "we are always responsible for what we tame" and yet owners often don't know that. We have to be very smart to love in such a NON selfish way.

Teddybears are very symbolic. The symbol a girl's inability to control emotions or their innate need to posses things. No one can be fully possessed. Period. I like the movie A.I. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0212720/. Teddybear in that movie is quite symbolic.

Why inheritances suck and why stumbling is important part of our lifes?

Strange title you might think. Everyone wants to have money, right? It would be so nice to inherit a couple of million of dollars, wouldn't. Well, yes and know. The problem is that it is actually confirmed that a lot of rich people do not find happiness in their life's. Why is that? I have been thinking about this and I think this is because they might not have clear goals or incentives in their life's. They might not know how to enrich themselves, to become better. When we give food to the needy person, it is a needy that is happy but actually we are more happy than a needy! Then again a needy might spit us in a face but we still should be happy. It sounds insane and yes not many people would be able to smile back to a needy person after they got a spit all over their face! Would I? I don't know but I would try!



I find my life to be truly happy because when I stumble I feel my knee hurts and then I can get up and walk again. How can a rich person stumble? I am sure there are many ways to stumble but it is just harder to stumble when you are rich. You might not stumble because you feel that there is always a safety net in terms of your money to hold you. A lot if not everything is in our mind. There are people that are able to walk on a hot chalk, swallow knives and lie on spikes without hurting themselves. I don't know how to do any of these things but these people only prove how truly magnificent mind can be as a controlling mechanism for our own fears. Some people will use that against other people but that is evil and eventually will bite you in the ass :)

Some people are with each other for sex, that is nice but I feel more people are or should be because they want to help the other person when that person stumbles, they will hold them and let them regain balance once again. You might stumble as well, it would be nice if there was someone to hold you! It all might be Utopian but I much prefer to live for Utopian ideas than for a brutal reality. I think in a sense we all do, once we become adults we loose some of our childhood dreams, they are all replaced by cruel and merciless reality.

In a nutshell stumbling is important, it lets you think and change your priorities in your life. We change all the time, our priorities change all time. Two steps ahead, one step back. A step back is reflective step it is another way of slowing down, because you move to fast! Life is all about the balance, moving too fast on a highway is dangerous, moving too fast in life is dangerous as well. So I am not rich right but that is actually good because I can find my happiness in my way through the life. We all have dreams, some of them money can buy, some of them money won't buy. IMHO one of them is happiness, at least for me happiness is in the way, in stumbling and getting up. I wish all of you to find happiness in stumbling!

First, Do No Harm - Patch Adams

First do no harm.
What is implicit in this simple precept of medicine?
An awesome power.
The power to do harm.
Who gives you this power?
The patient.
A patient will come to you at his moment of greatest dread..
hand you a knife and say, "Doctor, cut me open."
Why?
Because he trusts you.
He trusts you the way a child trusts.
He trusts you to do no harm.
The sad fact is...
human beings are not worthy of trust.
It is human nature to lie...
take shortcuts, to lose your nerve, get tired...
make mistakes.
No rational patient would put his trust in a human being...
and were not gonna let him!
It is our mission here...
to rigorously and ruthlessly train the humanity out of you...
and make you into something better.

"Meaning is differential not referential"

"Meaning is differential not referential"

It took me almost 30 years to understand this. I should be ashamed of myself.

A woman is a difference to a man
A cat is a difference to a dog
...and so many more.

Reflections on evolution

For quite a while I have been thinking about the topic of evolution. First of all, it is impossible to say that I think it is bad or good because it is what it is. It doesn't have consciousness thus it doesn't have any moral standards. Yet, evolution is the smartest and the most cruel concept that exists. Without evolution of some sort, we wouldn't be here. Why is it cruel? Well, think about it organisms that are week will perish and will not pass on their genes to an offspring. If they are weak, some of them might not even be lucky to live long after the birth. We have all seen cubs dying just after they are born, saddening and gruesome picture for compassionate people. We have all seen pictures of a tiger chasing their prey and a vision of the animal being eaten. The question is arises, which animals die, which one survive? Is the one that dies always the weakest? Not necessarily, evolution also has a concept of luck and probability, actually the best animal (most fitted) can die because only on that particular hapless day, this animal might have been feeble and was unable to defy or outsmart the predator. If we eliminate concept of a back luck, in the long term, the best animals survive.

Human mating
We apply evolution principles to mating as well. It seems that both men and women are hard wired to favour to choose people that have the best fitness function for them. If you think about this every one of us has a fitness function, that consists of number variables (traits) that each of us considers to be important. They are both character and physical traits. Needless, to say these functions do differ between people but also they seem to have certain things that are in common for all of us and for certain societies. The concept of beauty also changes from one era to another, for instance in baroque a woman was pretty when she was ... pleasantly plump. If you look at lanky models on television then you will understand that it has nothing to do with the current (Information Age?) perception of beauty. Are we conditioned by media? It is really a question of an egg and chicken, which one was first. It definitely has huge impact on us. Topic of beauty is a difficult topic and I don't want to cover it in this post, yet beauty for many people is part of their fitness function, therefore I have mentioned it. Love, like evolution is very cruel, every one of us at some point has rejected a certain person that was attracted to us. We might feel guilty about this and some of us certainly do but there is not much we can do about it, like the final goal was a perfect offspring and that offspring can be perfect only if our partner is at least little bit close to that perfection (both physical and character wise). Is it good or bad? It is what it is. Survival of the fittest. The most incredible thing I came to realise is that all us look at finding their partner in a holistic way. If an individual does not accept physically a certain person, there is no chance for love, auto rejection. It applies both to men and women, although men are really notorious for this. Either way, we have our preferences. The same applies to character traits, they are part of a fitness function as well, yet it is very acceptable in a society to reject a person based on their character traits, it is less acceptable to reject a person based on their physical appearance, it is considered to be shallow, yet most of us do it. There was a movie about this, check it out: Shallow Hall. Yet, we are all more or less shallow as evolution - evolution is shallow as well. In your mind a child with an ugly/stupid person can potentially result in a sick or dumb child, the one that will die or will be susceptible to diseases. The fact that you reject is because you are conditioned and because you care about the future of your child (evolutionary hard-wiring).

Imagine a world in which a physical appearance can be altered through genetic engineering (check out movie: Gattaca), still people will have certain preferences but no one will be feeble, disabled or ugly so that everyone will reject this person, resulting in a evolutionary murder. I feel very sorry for these people and that is why I think all of us would actually benefit from genetic engineering applied to humans. Mind you that it is very hard and far from practical application any time soon. I know that ethically it is a difficult question, especially if one believes in God, but where is God when a person with a Down syndrome dies childless because they are not allowed to have children or other people reject them, resulting in the an evolutionary genocide. Because of somatic disorders, this person will fail to pass their character traits (think, he or she could be a very nice person) to offspring. You must be thinking, to pass characters traits, are you nuts? You might remember the concept of a blank slate, you see Steven Pinker claims that behaviour can be inherited. Please listen to his video to find out more: http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/steven_pinker_chalks_it_up_to_the_blank_slate.html.
Would you like to live in a world I mentioned, in which only character traits would matter in evolutionary sense? I would. The important message for shallow men is that, if she is a hottie but a bimbo, remember that your child can also be, well.... be careful! Important message for smart women: be pretty but don't exaggerate, don't spend all of your free time in front of a mirror or in a gym, study, learn, enhance your knowledge to become a better human being. Be fairly attractive but also be smart, as character traits are inherited and you will be responsible to prepare your child to live in very demanding times (we need more knowledge to work/live comparing to the last century).

Evolution inspirations in businesses
Many people have spotted that capitalists have been inspired by evolution and applied it to their businesses. It has been very successful, companies that will not adjust and will not make profit will go belly up, the ones that do well, will survive. Employees that are most prepared for a job (their fitness function is the best for that job) have the highest chance of getting that job. Of course, there are things like nepotism but bear in mind that while nepotism is perceived to be bad, it is rooted in thinking that a member of family will not cheat you, or will be less likely to cheat you. This might be more important than actual competences for that job. Evolution applied to business means that you as a company have to innovate all the time to survive, you as an employee, without job security whatsoever have to constantly study and evolve for a chance to survive on the job market in the long term. If you think about this, this is no different than an animal running away from a tiger in a jungle. In communism, everybody was guaranteed to have a job, there was no incentive to learn, innovate. In capitalism innovation is driven by avarice, cupidity and survival instincts. No one is secure in capitalism, even businessmen with lots of capital running companies, if they make bad decisions, they will be bancrupt. In the short term, certain people might be more successful than others, but in the long term, things may change. Credit crunch enabled us to think that even big fat cats in investment banks are not secure and their position can be jeapordised.

Evolution as a way to run society
How about we use evolution as a way to run the society, this will mean the there would be no social welfare and people on incapacity benefit and disabled people would immediately stop receiving any money. Disabled people who would be able to get a job would be able to support themselves, others would simply die. I know what you are thinking, this is an atrocity and indeed an appalling idea. Yes, you are right, it is a controversial idea but as we previously mentioned evolution doesn't have moral standards so it would eliminate the weakest individuals, favouring survival and reproduction of the best ones. Think about this survival of a disabled person means that, they might have a child and that child, while might not be disabled will be more limited to achieve the best of their potential. This is a difference between America and Europe. European governments pay more attention to people that are unable to support themselves and provide them with enough money to survive, in America on another hand, while there is a social welfare, it is very limited and in fact, in that sense America is closer to the pure evolutionary mechanism. Which one is better, that is an ethical question. Both have advantages and disadvantages, we can use different adjectives, well understood, like productivity that have no ethical meanings. Needless to say, American model has been the most productive, America was built on drudgery and toil. Take a look at the state of their economy, while it might be in trouble (other economies are in trouble as well) it is the most efficient economy in the world and in my humble opinion will stay like that for a long time.

There are also more social models, like Scandinavian countries, where government lets rich people to be rich but also taxes them enormously so that poor and needy people are provided with basic needs, they won't be driving Mercedes but they will have food and shelter. Evolution doesn't care (because it is not conscious), it would let these people die, it is people that modified the pure evolution and applied ethical and moral standards to it. For innovation it might be bad but who said that innovation is an ultimate goal? What if we evolve slower, if drugs are invented slower, if we drive cars without GPS, at the same time supporting people in the society, which were less fortunate? Again ethical questions.

The ethical question, which model is better is in fact asking a question about a fitness function of a society. Is it more important for a society to innovate and be productive or is it more important for a society to make sure that all of its members have shelter and food and can live with dignity. Probably like in all aspects of live, it is vital to find a good balance. I might be horribly wrong but I think great Britain might provide a good balance.